"All therapy is about taking our parents"..Bert Hellinger
My relationship with my mother hasn't always been as warm and connected as it is today. Not that it was horrendous, but there was definitely something there that did not allow our hearts full access to each other, no matter how hard I tried or what type of healing work I did.
There was much standing in the way. Her mother died of pneumonia when she was a little girl of two. Later as a young women going through WWII in Germany, she experienced the loss of her dear brother, and the loss of her beloved, the father of her first child in the war. When she married my father there was again the loss of a child before I was born.
To know my mother you never ever would have guessed it. She was one of the happiest, cheerful women you would want to meet. I had a happy childhood. So what was wrong with me..unhappiness, depression, difficult relationships, immune diseases. I was determined and courageous in my search for solution but nothing quite addressed the issues at the level required.
Then one life saving day I was introduced to Family Constellation Work. My world expanded and my heart opened, as I began to discover that it was I that held the pain, grief and trauma for my dear mother, and it was showing up in my life in the most challenging ways.
I discovered we all do it to varying degrees. This holding or identifying it is done on a soul level, out of love, as we are in service to our family. These deep energetics points of separation, and paradoxically bonds of love do not go away, they are to be held by someone in the family for many generations if necessary until seen, honored, and given a place in the hearts of those it belongs to.
Today the lead or weight that I carried for my mother has been forever transformed, and turned into gold through the alchemical process of the Constellation Work. My mother now has a place in my heart that is joyful, spacious and full.
In my nine month Immersion Learning Program, participants reach a point where they can begin to take their parents in on a very deep level.This is a destination of our time together.
One of the the pieces of work I offer in this weekend is a deep process with the following words by Bert Hellinger. These are powerful words of healing. In honor of Mothers Day I am pleased to share them with you.
Thanksgiving at the Dawning of Our Lives
Dear Mother,
I accept from you everything,
all of it, with all that is included,
and at the full price that you paid for it,
and that I too am paying for it.
I will make something of it,
for your pleasure, and in your memory.
It shall not have been in vain.
I will hold onto it and honor it
and when I can, I will pass it on, as you did.
I take you as my mother
and you can have me as your child.
You are the right mother for me
and I am the right child for you.
You are the Big One, I am the Little One
You give and I receive – Dear Mother.
